Girls Don’t want “Bad Boys” they Want MEN (who are Confident)

20 Apr

I recently went on a Tinder date with a guy who told me a story about a fist fight he won in high school. I swooned.


Apparently, he was doing it to protect the honor of a girl in his school who was being mistreated by some guys in law school (not your typical miscreants, but maybe things are different where he grew up in Mexico). By the end of the date, I’d heard plenty of other stories proving how macho hard core he was.

Jack Johnson & Jim Jeffries Boxing

We  went on a few dates after that, and my dislike for that part of him continually mounted until the pivotal point when we were having a conversation about relationships and he said, “You like me because I’m a bad boy.”

A. I never said that I liked him

B. I would never like someone who labeled himself as a “bad boy”

C. I wish that I slapped him, but then we might have gotten in a physical fight and he has a MUCH stronger history of winning than I do (plus I’m not a fan of violence)

Labeling himself as a “bad boy” was a pitiful attempt to differentiate himself from guys that he considered to be softer and less manly. Or that was my impression of the situation, is that why guys do that?  I have no idea…

nice guy

Unfortunately, in our society “good guys” get a bad wrap because they are stereotypically boring. (At least that’s my problem with every guy who says “I don’t understand why girls won’t date me, I’m a great guy!”)

Women People want to be with other people who are confident and passionate about life.

sports car

I would take a “nice” guy who is confident and passionate about his life any day over some narcissistic guy who has muscles large enough to guard frail female honor and a sports car small enough to barely fit his ego.


6 Responses to “Girls Don’t want “Bad Boys” they Want MEN (who are Confident)”

  1. chrisspacedean April 20, 2014 at 1:30 am #

    I like the way you think. I hope I’m not one of those boring good guys 🙂

    • kateherrod April 20, 2014 at 6:13 am #

      No way Chris! You’re a cool “good guy”

  2. dancing oranges April 20, 2014 at 4:40 am #

    I agree! I once went on a first date with the guy who seemed very proud of beating people up since that made him look ‘tough’ and ‘macho’. Like, be tough, but there is a difference between physical toughness and mental toughness, don’t you think?

    • kateherrod April 20, 2014 at 6:15 am #

      You’re right on! And for some reason they rarely come in the same package…

  3. Deanna Herrod April 20, 2014 at 6:07 pm #

    Wow, say it like it is Kate. No holding you back. Can I take any credit for raising you like this? Or did you just evolve?

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