5 Guys I Almost Dated (#3)

9 Dec

#3 Leonardo – Just Friends

Leonardo and I had an interesting relationship. I guess you could say we were friends, but it wasn’t a real friendship.

I chose the name Leonardo because he was REALLY good-looking (not quite as cute as Leonardo DiCaprio, but he was leonardoclose). We were in the same FHE group (if you don’t know what that is, ask a Mormon Friend)  my sophomore year and it was quickly apparent that Leonardo’s apartment was cool and all the girls in the group wanted to be their friends. The battle began.

We would invite them to a bonfire or tea party (they really liked holding and attending tea parties) and the other girls in the group would invite them over for dinner. We would then retaliate by throwing an exclusive 1920’s themed Murder Mystery Party. I’m not sure who won the battle, but it was a ridiculous alpha female competition and I feel dumb even writing about it.

Leonardo and I didn’t become friends until the end of the year. During our friendship, I felt like he was one of the few people I could talk to without being judged, yet we knew very little about each other. We rarely saw each other but when we did, we were able to pick up like we hung out regularly. It was a relationship built on respect, not time.


We both had a flair for attending unusual activities.  When I decided to have a hoedown in my backyard, he came.  When his friend’s pet spider died he invited me to the funeral complete with a viking funeral barge on a frozen lake, black attire, and fueral bargefireworks.

His greatest trait? His Italian culinary skills, learned on his mission.

It was an unusual relationship before my mission and things became even more confusing after.

About half way through my mission he sent me a letter telling me that he really valued my friendship and that I was one of the few people he could talk to. I was surprised by that comment and thought that maybe we would become great friends when I got back.

The first time I saw him once I got back was when he invited me to his pet alligator’s birthday party (which lived in their apartment).  I saw him every once in a while after that but not very often.

I always wondered if he was interested in me romantically but it was hard to know because he didn’t date much.  After a few months of occasionally hanging out, I realized that I liked him.  On a day when I was feeling particularly bold I decided to call him because he was living at home in California.

After dodging the issue for about 30 minutes of our conversation I asked,

“Hey, do you ever see us being more than just friends?”

Silence.  Then he said, “I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Ok, well that’s fine.  I was just wondering because we’ve been friends for a while now and I never really knew where we stood on that topic…. ”

just friends

Basically, it was a kind way of saying, “Sorry, Kate. I don’t like you.” Surprisingly, I didn’t feel bad about it at all.

With that issue out-of-the-way I thought that we could be better friends because we would know that there was no romantic intention.  Unfortunately, I don’t think the conversation had the same effect on him. Although we were still able to be friends, he acted different. He always seemed so conflicted. I guess I’ll never know what he thought because I never had another opportunity to talk to him about it. He got a girlfriend a few months later and they’re getting married soon!

date milkshake

 I’ve thought about that conversation a lot since we had it almost a year ago and I’m really glad I said something.  I’ve had two conversations like this in my life and although both times it was awkward, it was HIGHLY useful (the second time went WAY better than the first and we’re still best friends). I’ve learned that once you identify the fact that you’re not romantically interested in someone, being friends is easy.

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