How to be the Juiciest Peach

3 Dec

I’ve never liked following the rules, even as a kid. Most girls will play house, wedding, or family vacation with their favorite characters: Barbie, Ken, and Skipper. When my mom would buy me  a new Barbie I would spend about 15 minutes getting the Barbie out of the box and play with it for about 6 minutes.

Then I was bored.

barbie

I would pick up the little plastic ties that Mattel used to stick my Barbie to the cardboard, like an accident victim to a gurney, and make a wire sculpture.  Once my sculpture was done, I would get some popsicle sticks to make a platform for the sculpture.  Within two hours I created a masterpiece of wire, thin pieces of wood, colored pens, and glitter.

Even at a young age I realized that my artwork was about as good as my ability to spell (if you don’t know about my spelling read my earlier blog posts or my text messages.  It’s pathetic.) so I decided to do the most useful way to dispose of it: sell to an unsuspecting family member.

Hello giggles!

Hello giggles!

I don’t consider myself to be a very good saleswomen BUT I am persistent.

I didn’t become the second highest girl scout cookie  saleswomen of the year by hanging out at home and baking my own cookies.  I let the other girls do that (most likely the factory in Richmond, VA).  Why waste my time? I could get much better rewards if in sales.  In 4th grade I reached my all-time high: 308 boxes.

It was totally worth it because I earned:

  • A frog stuffed animal that fit inside a lime green lily pad. I don’t like stuffed animals but this one was cool because the lily pad was a pouch with a pocket (see part below)

    Every little girl's dream!

    Every little girl’s dream!

  • A free t-shirt with a frog that looked like my stuffed animal. It was kind of like the American Girl outfits you can buy to match your doll, but not as cute.
  • And of course the coveted portable campfire chair.  I thought about sitting on that  camping chair every time I sold a box of cookies.  It was light weight, blue (my favorite color), and full of pouches. One thing you should know about little girls is that they LOVE pouches. The smaller and more awkwardly placed the pouch, the better. Pouches are the perfect way to keep your lip gloss, body glitter, Lisa Frank Stickers, and fruit roll ups from touching each other. Plus you look WAY more grown up when you go to retrieve your mini food shaped eraser from the pouch that is secretly located inside of the pouch that is underneath the pouch that you store your fake cell phone inside of. Side note:My chair broke the first time I used it. I ended up keeping it for a few years after as a tangible memory of my 308 box high. (It reminds me a little of this...)

    Picture this chair with tons of pockets all over it

    Picture this chair with tons of pockets all over it

Anyway, the point of this post was supposed to be that life isn’t fair.

Every once in a while I’m reminded of this quote…

peach

Forget about the dating reference.  I focus on the fact that I need to be the most juicy peach that I can possibly be and avoid becoming a fruit salad.

I love peaches and being anything else is a complete waste of time.

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4 Responses to “How to be the Juiciest Peach”

  1. rarasaur December 3, 2013 at 9:51 am #

    I’ve always loved that peaches quote. 😀

    • kateherrod December 6, 2013 at 4:00 am #

      Me too! Its a good one

  2. Madison December 6, 2013 at 9:00 pm #

    That’s a cool quote! I’ve never heard it before. Also, you’re soooo right about the pouches thing! Shoot. I would put a coin pouch inside a pencil case inside another pencil case… You understand me. It was awesome.

    • kateherrod December 6, 2013 at 9:27 pm #

      I’m glad that I wasn’t the ONLY little girl with a pouch fetish!

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